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is the use of my time. She spends that any time she wants. The dog is extremely old. She spends a lot of $$ on holistic tinctures that she even admits "It's hard to tell if they're doing anything". So why not stop spending it? The dog is in fairly constant pain. If it were up to me, I'd follow the vets's suggestion and end his suffering. I really want a marriage. But a marriage is supposed to include two people agreeing on priorities. She "agrees", then violates. This is relatively new behavior. She, herself, is in shock at how much she spends but she is taking no steps to reduce it. "Stop keeping score". OK, what do I do then? Pretend that I'm happy spending ALL MY FREAKING NON-WORK TIME FIXING THE PROJECTS SHE STARTS THAT WE AGREED SHE WOULD NOT START??? If you agreed to spend no more than $30, in a year, would you wait until the end of the year to decide to check, find out you'd spent $90, and think it's OK? She's the one who volunteered to watch the money and had been doing it for years, claiming she really liked doing so. And still claims she does. What do you do when someone voluntarily claims she's going to do it this way, and then doesn't? Aren't we supposed to be able to trust each other when one of us says "I'll take care of that"?